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A strong heart for service

Arathura — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:17:21 +0000

"O son of Pritha, do not yield to this degrading impotence.
It does not become you.
Give up such petty weakness of heart and arise,
O chastiser of the enemy"
Krishna 2:3

Arjuna is advised by Krishna to give up being a weak hearted person. What Krishna is indirectly saying is that in order to become His devotee while still living in the battlefield of the mind and heart, we must strive towards excellence in everything we do. In order to be an effective spiritual warrior or devotee of the Lord, we have to be ready to sacrifice our false conception of self so that the greatness of Krishna's mind and heart can begin to shine through us.

Without holding a proper conception of one's self as a subordinate of the highest self, victory in this life and the next is unattainable because of a profound lack of will-power. In other words, no one can successfully accomplish the performance of devotional service without giving up the enemies of pride and aversion to the Lord's superior potencies. Everything must be done in a state of humility, recognizing that in order for the Lord to shine through, our personal ego has to be polite enough to step aside so that the Lord can reign in the kingdoms of action, feeling, and willing.

Like Arjuna, we are all in possession of a weak heart, but we can decide to consecrate the space that exists within us to the performance of loving exchanges with Lord Krishna.

Anger: Tale of a Recovering Sociopath

David Lawson — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:41:29 +0000

Just want to take a minute and introduce myself properly to the group. I did not always feel like I do today. I will not bore everyone with too many details, let us just say that my anger was born during my childhood years. Hating the whole concept of "God" and anyone who tried to control me, whether physically or emotionally. I set off on my path toseparate my emotions from my logic decision making process. I will never be hurt or make a stupid emotional decision again, I told myself. soon as I could I ran, eventually I was living in the streets 5 states away from home, educational to say the least.

My 20's I employed my reason and logic skills and spent every opportunity to choke out my weak emotions. It was easy to do, all it took was intention and practice. Eventually I realized that there was a flaw with my plan, all the good feelings like joy, peace, satisfaction, patience, happiness, excitement, adventure.... they were all gone. I did not take into consideration that I would lose all of them. I had no idea how to get them back, so my anger and fear multiplied. Panic set in. I was supposed to be the one in control!! In my choas I lashed out at everyone, but none more than myself. I left a terrible wake of hurt people in my desperation to regain my power.

I was not alone, oh no, those feelings might have been gone, but they were replaced by anger and fear's many, many siblings. Rage. Emptiness. Bitterness. Scorn. Betrayal. Mistrust. Paranoia. Insecurity. Hate. Rejection. Confusion.....Despair. They kept me company every waking moment and at night in my dreams as well.

I went to the doctors who tried to medicate me and tell me their prognosis. Sociopath.

Then one Christmas, I broke. I do not know any other way of describing what I experienced. I just terrified the entire gathered family at dinner, my rage at the state of my life came to the surface. I moved into a camper for a month and did not come out. I had to fix myself for Gabriel's sake, because if not I was going to lay down and die.

Thinking of my son Gabriel, I sat in that damn camper and realized that as a child I experienced the greatest happiness for a while, anyhow. Life was always an adventure. When you made a friend as a child, your whole life became more intense! As I thought back I realized I wanted to live that again, because I hated the sight of myself now. I defined what I wanted, I held it in my mind like a solid : I want to live a happy, simple life, in what ever form it chose to present itself. I created an intention to change myself and heal. To take back control of my mind and emotions.

I then realized that I really never paid attention to what was going on inside myself. I was the wolf, my powers of observation were fined tuned from years of survival, nothing happened around me that I was not aware of. No one could lie to me, except myself. I turned my observation to my own mind and heart, and thus began my journey to healing.

The only way I know to overcome fear/anger is to be conscious in the moment they are upon you, meaning to be aware of the universal truth that without them we would never discover courage or the depth of our innerstrength. Breathe through it and let it pass through you in full awareness of what you are experiencing and who you are. Most importantly, courage is found when fear is faced and action is taken even in the grip of fear.

That personality is very much still there, because we are one and the same. That is who I am when I exist away from love. I make the conscious decision to be aware of all my thoughts and emotions, while being aware of the people around me as well. I choose what thoughts and emotions to feed. I am in control of this vehicle of experience. I am not perfect and I do rise and fall on the currents around me, but I will not stop moving, and if I keep my eyes up then I will reach the surface.

In my 30s now, and today my life is thatadventure, and I have wonderful friends like you!

- David

This is my starting point. One cannot exist apart from love. It is the very matter that we are, it connects us with everything. However this is my own personal understanding of love. Sometimes it is difficult to understand that Love and hate are two faces of the same energy. Many people do not have the same understanding, so I try to keep it as simple as possible. It is like being lost in the woods and using the stars to guide your way, if you focus on love, eventually, even with a limited understanding, you will be heading in the right direction, and will find the path that you laid out for yourself.

Does God Favor Abortion?

Charlie Van Dyke — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:30:44 +0000

By Rabbi Rami Shapiro

Is God in favor of abortion? Maybe so. An article in The Tennessean newspaper told the story of a fifteen-year-old unmarried girl pregnant with triplets. The pregnancy was not going well and the girl’s life was in imminent danger. The doctors counseled abortion to save the life of the mother. The girl’s parents and their pastor argued against it. The hospital chaplain was called in, and it was he who wrote the story.

The chaplain’s role isn’t to side with either party, but to bring some comfort to the young girl facing the death of her babies at the hands of her doctors, or her own death with the blessing of her parents. The chaplain encouraged the girl and her family to place the situation in the hands of God, and not let the doctors intervene. He prayed for her, and asked God to do what was right.

God answered his prayers and aborted the lives of these three babies by causing the mother to miscarry. While abortion at the hands of medical professionals was ungodly, abortion at the hands of God was perfectly fine. What does this mean?

At the very least it means that when it comes to abortion the death of the unborn isn’t really the problem. We are talking about an all-powerful God who could have saved the babies and their mother, but chose not to. So the problem isn’t the death of the unborn but the agent of their death. If a doctor does it, it is evil; if God does it, it is good. But why can’t the doctor be an agent of God? Why can’t abortion at the hands of medical professionals be the way God saves mothers whose lives are threatened by the birth of their babies?

Is the best religion has to offer is a passive “turning matters over to God” and a simple acceptance of whatever happens as God’s will?

As a Jew and a humanist I tend to side with saving the life of the mother (though there are exceptions), but this story isn’t about that. It’s about a chaplain trusting God to do what’s right, and yet not having the courage to then argue that abortion isn’t always wrong.

Chaplains often witness such situations. Why is it these acts of God never influence their ideas about God? If they did I suspect the argument over abortion would be far more nuanced and civil.

What does it mean to have a soft heart?

Arathura — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:44:11 +0000

"For it is in giving that we receive."
St.Francis

Receiving naturally leads to giving. When we receive something
which is of value to the heart, we become filled with
a Desire
to share that bounty which is of the stars
with whosoever is willing
to take in what is being given.

God's hand in 'marriage' is ultimately a question of individual will.
Do you want to keep holy company?
How does one use one's personal faith?

The True Miracle

John Chuchman — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 02:12:42 +0000

God is . . .

I’m resting in the moment
with God as
Love.

I find some peace in
a Triune God
as
Source of Love,
Embodiment of Love,
Love Enacted.

But,
might that also mean that
God is
the person I’m speaking with,
the one right in front of me?

Sigh,
I’m reminded of the adage
as soon as I think I know God,
I know I do not.

Maybe my Mantra should not be
God or Love,
but instead,
Today
or
Now!

I’m thinking that
the miracle for me
is not walking on water,
but being gifted
to walk on this earth
in the Precious Present Moment.

If for God
there is no past or future and
all is Present,
then maybe whomever I am with
in the Precious Present Moment
is in fact,
the Face of God for me Now, Today.

Virginia Senate votes to pass gay adoption discrimination

Charlie Van Dyke — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 21:56:28 +0000

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) - Legislation allowing private adoption agencies to discriminate against gay prospective parents is on its way to Virginia's governor, who has said he will sign it.

The Senate voted 22-18 Tuesday to pass legislation allowing private agencies to deny placements that conflict with their religious or moral beliefs, including opposition to homosexuality. The House had already passed the bill, which only needs Republican Gov. Bob McDonnell's signature to take effect July 1.

North Dakota is the only other state with such a law.

Democrats Charles Colgan and Phillip Puckett joined all 20 Senate Republicans in voting for the so-called "conscience clause" legislation.

Proponents say the measure protects the religious rights of agencies that contract with the state to provide child placement services. Opponents say the state should not sanction discrimination.

Love Deeply

Charlie Van Dyke — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 18:20:28 +0000

By Therese J. Borchard
From Beyond Blue

Valentine’s Day is a good time to remember all the ways we can be loving, not just to the guy/gal sitting across from you at the kitchen table, but also your boss, your mother, your boss’s mother, and her mother.

One of my very favorite reflections from Henri Nouwen is “Love Deeply,” found in his book “The Inner Voice of Love.” This beautiful meditation reminds me to continue to love and to be vulnerable enough to receive love, even if it means rising rejection and hurt, even as I feel an emptiness in my soul, a void in my heart, which makes me want to build barriers to keep everyone out. Here it is:

Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply.

You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds.

The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. They will become part of your self and thus gradually build a community within you.

Those you have deeply loved become part of you. The longer you live, there will always be more people to be loved by you and to become part of your inner community. The wider your inner community becomes, the more easily you will recognize your own brothers and sisters in the strangers around you. Those who are alive within you will recognize those who are alive around you. The wider the community of your heart, the wider the community around you. Thus the pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

God at Large

John Chuchman — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:46:57 +0000

God at Large

God seems unwilling
to participate
in any of my efforts
to pigeonhole Her.

The very moment
I feel I may have arrived
at a most expansive sense
of who or what
God is,
He breaks through
the claustrophobia of
my expression
and
goes At Large again.

God as Love
cannot be contained
in my ideas or words
accepting all that I am
while using my humanity
as a privileged place
to encounter
God as Love.

But, I know that God does not disparage
my feeble words and ideas.
Where I stand
with all my mistakes and imperfections
is
Holy Ground.

It is where
God chooses to be intimate
with me,
and not in any other way,
but this.

So, EnJoy it, John.

What People Talk About Before They Die

Charlie Van Dyke — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:01:33 +0000

By Kerry Egan, Special to CNN

As a divinity school student, I had just started working as a student chaplain at a cancer hospital when my professor asked me about my work. I was 26 years old and still learning what a chaplain did.

"I talk to the patients," I told him.

"You talk to patients? And tell me, what do people who are sick and dying talk to the student chaplain about?" he asked.

I had never considered the question before. “Well,” I responded slowly, “Mostly we talk about their families.”

“Do you talk about God?

“Umm, not usually.”

“Or their religion?”

“Not so much.”

“The meaning of their lives?”

“Sometimes.”

“And prayer? Do you lead them in prayer? Or ritual?”

“Well,” I hesitated. “Sometimes. But not usually, not really.”

I felt derision creeping into the professor's voice. “So you just visit people and talk about their families?”

“Well, they talk. I mostly listen.”

“Huh.” He leaned back in his chair.

A week later, in the middle of a lecture in this professor's packed class, he started to tell a story about a student he once met who was a chaplain intern at a hospital.

“And I asked her, 'What exactly do you do as a chaplain?' And she replied, 'Well, I talk to people about their families.'” He paused for effect. “And that was this student's understanding of faith! That was as deep as this person's spiritual life went! Talking about other people's families!”

The students laughed at the shallowness of the silly student. The professor was on a roll.

“And I thought to myself,” he continued, “that if I was ever sick in the hospital, if I was ever dying, that the last person I would ever want to see is some Harvard Divinity School student chaplain wanting to talk to me about my family.”

My body went numb with shame. At the time I thought that maybe, if I was a better chaplain, I would know how to talk to people about big spiritual questions. Maybe if dying people met with a good, experienced chaplain they would talk about God, I thought.

Today, 13 years later, I am a hospice chaplain. I visit people who are dying – in their homes, in hospitals, in nursing homes. And if you were to ask me the same question - What do people who are sick and dying talk about with the chaplain? – I, without hesitation or uncertainty, would give you the same answer. Mostly, they talk about their families: about their mothers and fathers, their sons and daughters.

They talk about the love they felt, and the love they gave. Often they talk about love they did not receive, or the love they did not know how to offer, the love they withheld, or maybe never felt for the ones they should have loved unconditionally.

They talk about how they learned what love is, and what it is not. And sometimes, when they are actively dying, fluid gurgling in their throats, they reach their hands out to things I cannot see and they call out to their parents: Mama, Daddy, Mother.

What I did not understand when I was a student then, and what I would explain to that professor now, is that people talk to the chaplain about their families because that is how we talk about God. That is how we talk about the meaning of our lives. That is how we talk about the big spiritual questions of human existence.

We don't live our lives in our heads, in theology and theories. We live our lives in our families: the families we are born into, the families we create, the families we make through the people we choose as friends.

This is where we create our lives, this is where we find meaning, this is where our purpose becomes clear.

Family is where we first experience love and where we first give it. It's probably the first place we've been hurt by someone we love, and hopefully the place we learn that love can overcome even the most painful rejection.

This crucible of love is where we start to ask those big spiritual questions, and ultimately where they end.

I have seen such expressions of love: A husband gently washing his wife's face with a cool washcloth, cupping the back of her bald head in his hand to get to the nape of her neck, because she is too weak to lift it from the pillow. A daughter spooning pudding into the mouth of her mother, a woman who has not recognized her for years.

A wife arranging the pillow under the head of her husband's no-longer-breathing body as she helps the undertaker lift him onto the waiting stretcher.

We don't learn the meaning of our lives by discussing it. It's not to be found in books or lecture halls or even churches or synagogues or mosques. It's discovered through these actions of love.

If God is love, and we believe that to be true, then we learn about God when we learn about love. The first, and usually the last, classroom of love is the family.

Sometimes that love is not only imperfect, it seems to be missing entirely. Monstrous things can happen in families. Too often, more often than I want to believe possible, patients tell me what it feels like when the person you love beats you or rapes you. They tell me what it feels like to know that you are utterly unwanted by your parents. They tell me what it feels like to be the target of someone's rage. They tell me what it feels like to know that you abandoned your children, or that your drinking destroyed your family, or that you failed to care for those who needed you.

Even in these cases, I am amazed at the strength of the human soul. People who did not know love in their families know that they should have been loved. They somehow know what was missing, and what they deserved as children and adults.

When the love is imperfect, or a family is destructive, something else can be learned: forgiveness. The spiritual work of being human is learning how to love and how to forgive.

We don’t have to use words of theology to talk about God; people who are close to death almost never do. We should learn from those who are dying that the best way to teach our children about God is by loving each other wholly and forgiving each other fully - just as each of us longs to be loved and forgiven by our mothers and fathers, sons and daughters.

5 Things Not To Say To Divorced Moms

Charlie Van Dyke — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 15:24:47 +0000

By Jacqueline Burt on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.

Growing up as the daughter of a single mother, I swore I'd never be a single mom myself. My mother did her best, as I think most of us do, but I was well aware of the fact that her situation -- our situation -- was far from ideal. My mother worried about money, and with good reason (we were usually broke). My mother was lonely, though she wouldn't admit it. My mother was overwhelmed. Did I want to face the same struggles when it was my turn to be a mom? No way.

Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

At least I was prepared. As a divorced mother-of-two, the territory I travel day-to-day feels largely familiar; had I been raised in a two-parent household, I think single motherhood might have been more of a shock to my system. I've been here before, just on the other side.

So I'm never surprised by the questions people ask or comments they make when they find out I'm divorced. I've heard it all before.

Of course that doesn't make it okay. If you're not a single mom, you might be shocked to hear how nosy and insensitive even perfect strangers can be. If you are a single mom, you've no doubt heard most of these yourself.

1. What happened to their dad?

This one drives me nuts for several reasons. First of all, depending on who's doing the asking, it's usually none of their business. Plus, the question implies that you're a single mom because you were either abandoned or widowed or otherwise rendered powerless to change your fate. What happened to their dad? He fell in love with the nanny and ran away with her ... he had a "spiritual awakening" and went to live on an ashram. Whatever your answer, it's expected to be a variation on "something happened to make him not want to be married to me anymore and that's why I'm a single mom." It's sexist, quite frankly.

2. How are the kids dealing with everything?

From the patronizingly pitying facial expressions that accompany this question, I'd say "everything" is a code word for "the chaos and instability of your fractured family's home life." So things never get chaotic in a home with two parents, is that right? Spare me the dime store pediatric psychology. There is no reason to assume my children are any less well-adjusted than anyone else's simply because I'm divorced.

3. Does their father help you out?

I'm never quite sure if this is an inquiry as to the exact dollar amount and frequency of mandated child support payments or just a way for people to say, "I can tell you're poor because you have that beat-up old car and your clothes look like they came off the clearance rack ... I just want to know how poor, so I can feel better about my two-income household."

4. Oh, that's a shame.

It is? Being a divorced single mother is a shame? Whose shame? Not mine. Again, even if this isn't intended to be a slight, the direct translation is: "Oh, too bad your life sucks." Who said my life sucks?

5. At least you get time off when the kids are with your ex!

Look, I've made jokes along these same lines myself -- the only good thing about divorce is joint custody, etc. But they were, as I said, jokes. In no way, shape, or form does having regularly scheduled alone time make up for the drawbacks of being a single parent. Make no mistake, there is no "break" from motherhood. There is only the ever-present hum of anxiety that occurs whenever your kids aren't in your immediate proximity for more than a day.

Are you a divorced mom? Do people ever say these things to you?

Being a helping hand

Arathura — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 04:56:53 +0000

To accept the helping hand
of one's brothers and sisters in spirit
is the same as accepting the helping hand
of the Lord Himself.

The End Of Church

Charlie Van Dyke — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 23:28:44 +0000

By Diana Butler Bass
From Huffington Post

Something startling is happening in American religion: We are witnessing the end of church or, at the very least, the end of conventional church. The United States is fast-becoming a society where Christianity is being reorganized after religion.

In recent decades, untold numbers of people have left the Roman Catholic Church. In a 2008 survey, Pew research found that one in 10 Americans now considers themselves an ex-Catholic. The situation is so dire that the church launched a PR campaign inviting Catholics to "come home," to woo back disgruntled members. There was a slight uptick in Catholic membership last year, mostly due to immigrant Catholics. There is no data indicating that Catholics are returning en masse and much anecdotal evidence suggesting that leaving-taking continues. Catholic leaders worry that once the new immigrants become fully part of American society they might leave, too.

The end of church, however, is not merely a Catholic problem. For decades, mainline Protestants have watched helplessly as their membership rolls dwindled, employing program after program to try to stop the decline. In the last 15 years, conservative Protestant denominations have witnessed significant erosions in membership, money and participation -- with some of the greatest drops in groups like the Southern Baptist Convention that once seemed impervious to decline. In a typical week, less than a quarter of Americans attend a religious service, down from the half of the population who were regular churchgoers a generation ago.

There are successful individual congregations -- Catholic or Protestant, mainline or evangelical, liberal or conservative, small or large -- everywhere. But the institutional structures of American religion -- denominations of all theological sorts -- are in a free-fall.

The religious market collapse has happened with astonishing speed. In 1999, when survey takers asked Americans "Do you consider yourself spiritual or religious," a solid majority of 54 percent responded that they were "religious but not spiritual." By 2009, only 9 percent of Americans responded that way. In 10 years, those willing to identify themselves primarily as "religious" plummeted by 45 percentage points.

In the last decade, the word "religion" has become equated with institutional or organized religion. Because of crises such as the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks and the Roman Catholic abuse scandal, Americans now define "religion" in almost exclusively negative terms. These larger events, especially when combined with increasing irrelevance of too much of organized religion, contributed to an overall decline in church membership, and an overall decline of the numbers of Christians, in the United States.

There may be hope, however, regarding the future of faith. Despite worry about the word, "religion," Americans are extremely warm toward "spiritual but not religious" (30 percent) and, even more interestingly (and perhaps paradoxically), the term "spiritual and religious" (48 percent). While "religion" means institutional religion, "spirituality" means an experience of faith. Large numbers of Americans are hankering for experiential faith whereby they can connect with God, the divine, or wonder as well as with their neighbors and that lead to a more profound sense of meaning in the world. Maybe Americans once called this "religion," but no more. Americans call it "spirituality."

Some Americans want to be spiritually left alone, without complications from organized religion. But nearly half of Americans appear to hope for a spiritual reformation -- or even revolution -- in their faith traditions and denominations. Congregations that exhibit a vibrant spiritual life embodying a living faith in practical ways succeeding, even in the religion bear market. These sorts of communities are models of what might be possible to renew wearied organizations. But the macro-structures of American faith -- denominations -- have yet to hear this message. They are still trying to fix institutional problems and flex political muscle instead of tending to the spiritual longings of regular Americans.

"Spiritual and religious" expresses a grassroots desire for new kinds of faith communities, where institutional structures do not inhibit or impede one's relationship with God or neighbor. Americans are searching for churches -- and temples, synagogues, and mosques -- that are not caught up in political intrigue, rigid rules and prohibitions, institutional maintenance, unresponsive authorities, and inflexible dogma but instead offer pathways of life-giving spiritual experience, connection, meaning, vocation, and doing justice in the world. Americans are not rejecting faith -- they are, however, rejecting self-serving religious institutions.

The end of conventional church isn't necessarily a bad thing. Christianity after religion, a faith renewed by the experience of God's spirit, is closer to what Jesus hoped for his followers than the scandalous division, politics, and enmity we have now. Will there still be Christianity after the end of institutional religion? Yes, there will be. But it is going to be different than what Americans have known, a faith responsive to the longings of those who are expecting more spiritual depth and greater ethical integrity rather than more conventional church. Indeed, I suspect that the end of church is only the beginning of a new Great Awakening.

A Virgin Birth

Arathura — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 15:43:37 +0000

May the Holy Spirit fill my chalice
for it eternally runs empty
out of compassionate expenditures.

It is possible for everyone to become vessels
or chalices of the Holy Spirit.
All that is required is to be sincerely dedicated
to service and acts of compassion.

'Ask, and it will be given to you, seek, and you will find;
knock, and it will be opened to you.'
Mark 7:7

The actor and the stage

Arathura — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 23:42:09 +0000

Persona - Personhood - Personality. What is the difference between one acting persona and another? Is the whole world but a stage? Is life itself one drama being played out by illustrious and not so illustrious actors?
To study the behavior of a personality is to become enamored by the tensions and resolutions of the birth and death of personhood, which is but a part of the drama of human existence. 'To be, or not to be, that is the question.' William Shakespeare

Patience

Charlie Van Dyke — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 23:14:54 +0000

Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience.
Sometimes you don't need the things you "need."
to enjoy the simple things, quiet times, friends, family.
~ Amish Proverb